


retrieval

by headlessnicks



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-18 13:33:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29490627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/headlessnicks/pseuds/headlessnicks
Summary: The war is over, and all that remains now is to recover the losses. As Deputy Headmistress, Minerva has been charged the responsibility of bringing the late headmaster back home.
Kudos: 10





	retrieval

The year is 1998, and Harry Potter has just led the entire Wizarding World to victory in the battle against Lord Voldemort and his forces. The enemy's corpse lay discarded on the left side of the hall, as everyone walked past without so much as a second glance. Everywhere, people stood or sat crying as they realized their losses amongst the rubble and stones of the castle that had once stood tall and mighty. Too many lives had been lost, and it was this bitter truth that dampened the spirits of everyone in the Great Hall. And yet, despite it all, people were smiling-even through tears they afforded small laughs as friends, lovers and families held one another close with comforting whispers of reunion.

Minerva McGonagall stood in the middle of it all, taking in the taste of death and life that surrounded her. Misery and hope, clashing together, as she steadied her figure. It would be months, perhaps even years, before their home could be put right again. And even then, it would not guarantee the return of all those whom had sacrificed their lives for this pointless war. She turned to watch as more bodies were carried in and arranged neatly in piles on the right-side corner of the Hall, and swallowed the cold feeling in her throat. _These were children_ , she thought, _children who had thrown their lives away to protect their home_.

A chill ran through her then, and Minerva remembered why she had come down here in the first place. Albus' words echoed with a strange clarity in her mind, he had tasked her with a singular mission, one that was handed off to her alone. And it was one she would have done on her own, even if he had not asked her to.

As though on cue, she spotted the very man she had intended to speak to-huddled in the corner with his family. Minerva approached Harry Potter, her brows tightening as she saw the Weasleys step away to make room for her. Potter made to stand, and Granger tried to pull him back-he quickly reassured her that it was fine, that he was fine. Minerva did not know what she was feeling, whether it was admiration for the boy's courage or sorrow for what he had been made to endure.

"Potter," she said, her voice trembling only slightly.

"Professor," Potter said with a forced grin, "everything alright?"

He had always put others before his own self. He took after his own parents that way, had they not sacrificed their lives for their only son?

"I couldn't quite say that now, could I, Mr. Potter?" she mustered with a sad little smile, one he returned.

"We lost Fred," Potter said in a single breath when Percy Weasley suddenly let out a mangled cry. His brothers scooped him up, and Arthur Weasley gripped him tightly as the boy broke into silent sobs.

"Arthur, Molly, I am terribly sorry," Minerva managed as she did her best to quell the raging sadness in her. There seemed to be no fairness left in the world, not after all of this death and destruction. And yet, there was still more to come. They hadn’t recovered everyone yet, and Minerva was not sure if she could reserve any more strength for when they were.

"Thank you, Minerva," Arthur replied with a tight smile, and patted his son's head softly. His wife stood away from the scene, staring at Percy silently.

"Did you need something, Professor?" Potter asked again, and Minerva wished he hadn't. She felt as though she was intruding upon an intimate moment, and her question for the boy might simply make things worse. But there was no point in delaying her task, not when her old friend was out there, all on his own.

"Severus...he's truly dead?"

Potter's face darkened and he nodded, tight-lipped.

"It's true then, Potter-? Everything you said about him during the battle?"

Another nod. Minerva exhaled, not knowing how long she had held her breath in. She did not know what it was she felt, but it was certainly not relief at knowing her old colleague had not betrayed them after all. No, this was something more. She felt heavy, burdened even, with this knowledge.

"Where is...he? If you do not mind, I would like to bring him back to the castle, Potter. I don't think it would be appropriate to leave him out for too long-"

"It's alright, Professor," Potter said as he took her hand in his, "he's in the Shrieking Shack-I'll go with you-"

"Oh, there's no need for that, Potter. You stay here, you need to rest-"

"No, it's fine, Professor. _Really_. I have to make sure he's alright, too-it's the least I could do," Potter said reassuringly.

"I'll go, Harry."

Minerva glanced over to Molly, her eyebrow slightly raised. The woman however was looking at Harry as she shook her head.

"Mrs. Weasley, you shouldn't-"

"It's alright, Harry, I'll go with Minerva and make sure Severus is brought back safe and sound. You need to sleep, all of you do, honestly!" Molly said, her voice sounding forcefully cheery as she waved her hands at them. 

Potter opened his mouth to argue but the younger Weasley entwined her arm around his, and he looked down at her protectively. Molly nodded to her husband who began to busy himself with the children, urging them to get up and to get some rest. As reluctant as they seemed, they followed in an orderly way. Granger stayed back, however.

"Professor, if you use the tunnel by the Whomping Willow, you'll get there faster. Oh and..." she paused, hesitating, "he lost a lot of blood-just thought you should be....prepared."

"Thank you, Miss Granger. You head on now, girl," Minerva mumbled in thanks, shooing the girl away. She could not bear to look at any of them for too long in fear of acknowledging how grown they had become now. She did not think she could stand to see the loss of innocence in their eyes, especially not when she was so raw with emotion.

"Molly, you don't have to do this, you know," she said, turning to address the pale woman behind her.

"I need to, Minerva. If I stay here any longer, I fear I shall lose my mind."

There was a lot of things Minerva wanted to say then. She wanted to tell Molly how sorry she was, and to tell her that going on this mission with her would not undo the death of her son. And yet she couldn't because in that moment she decided to be selfish. Minerva knew she could not bear to do this on her own just now, and so with that heavy feeling in her chest, she silently agreed with Molly and led them away from Hogwarts, and to the open grounds where the Whomping Willow stood.

* * *

The tunnel was dark and grimy, and for a moment Minerva considered chastising Granger later for having led them down through this entirely inappropriate shortcut. But it was not Granger's fault, no, Minerva did not hate this tunnel because it was much too small and cramped and tasted of dirt and despair. She hated it because she could not stop picturing Severus' own final venture down this pathway. Had he known as he walked through this suffocating stench, that he would not be emerging from it again? The thoughts played like an old film in her head, and she hated how she could picture him so perfectly in his ridiculously large robes and ashen face striding through the dark fearlessly. Had he realized that he would be betrayed and killed in cold-blood by the hands of the very Master he was forced to pray upon so diligently? 

They arrived at the winding staircase now, coughing through the dust of cobwebs that had already formed itself there in delicate weaves. There was a different smell in the air now, and it filled through her nostrils, refusing to die out. It reeked of blood- of blood and tears and desperation. As Minerva stepped into the dimly-lit room, she was aware that she had stepped on something wet. Behind her, Molly exclaimed as she pointed the bright end of her wand towards the scarred wooden flooring.

Why is there so much blood, was Minerva's first thought. Her eyes wandered about in fear which seemed ridiculous because she knew what awaited her in the furthest corner of the room. It was not as though she expected to find Severus alive, not when Voldemort himself had confirmed his death, not when Potter himself had attested to Severus' murder. There had still been a flicker of hope then, that perhaps they had been wrong-and she would find him gravely injured but alive still. 

Minerva forced herself to walk forward, leaving bloodied footprints in her wake. Her heart pounded against her chest, and there was a loud buzzing noise in her ears as her eyes finally caught sight of a crumpled figure lying straight ahead of her. She heard Molly call her name, and felt the woman's hand on her back-had not realized that she had tripped (on nothing in particular it seemed). At last, with steady pace, she arrived to where Severus Snape lay with his eyes staring ahead with no evidence of life behind them.

"He's dead," she sighed defeatedly. Her legs gave way beneath her, and she crashed onto the stained wooden floors.

"Oh, Severus," Minerva whispered, touching his cold face as gently as she could, "Severus, you _fool_."

Molly crouched next to her, and the two women simply stared at the lifeless man before them, not knowing what to say or do. And then Molly reached forwards and placed her fingertips over his eyelids and closed them. That was the last time Minerva had looked into the eyes of Severus Snape, never again in her lifetime did she think about the cold, tunnel-looking pair of eyes. 

"We-we should clean him up, shouldn't we?" Minerva whispered, and Molly nodded.

The other woman pointed to the floor and began to vanish the pools of blood that had been collecting for the hours that he had been left there. Minerva turned her attention to Severus, her hands trembling as it traced over the gaping wound in his neck. It was unbelievable how much blood was contained within this thin, frail man. She withdrew a small vial from the inside of her pocket and tipped the contents over the gash, watching in fascination as the skin began to knit itself back together.

"That's what the healers used on Arthur when he was...."

"Yes, Albus made me bring it along-he didn't want any more complications when bringing Severus back to the castle," Minerva said, laughing mirthlessly.

"Minerva?" Molly asked softly and Minerva only laughed harder.

"I'm sorry, Molly, I am but-do you not see how ironic this is? Bring the boy back home is what Albus asked of me, 'bring him back home safely' as if it matters! He's already gone...."

Speaking through her tears, Minerva wiped her face with the back of her sleeve. Her fingers slowly traced over the raw skin that covered Severus' throat now, leaving soft scars behind. She made to adjust the torn and bloodied collar, wrapping it neatly around his neck as she took in his final form. He looked as though he was sleeping, the worry lines that had so often taken home in his features had faded away so much so that he appeared a man of his own age now.

"There," said Minerva, brushing his hair so that it lay neatly, "looks much better now, doesn't he?"

"Yes, he does," Molly answered with a kind smile. "You know, sometimes I forget that he was far younger than any of us. He was...what-?"

"Thirty-eight. He turned thirty-eight this year, I believe."

An odd silence filled the air now as the two older women took in this strange information, processing its significance and its worth.

"Thirty-eight," Molly repeated, her lip quivering now, "he still had a long way to go, didn't he?"

"They were just boys, Molly," murmured Minerva, "all of them-Fred, Remus, Severus-they were all just children no matter what their ages were! And to have lost them right before we won...I cannot imagine the grief you must hold over your boy's death."

At this, Molly placed her arm around Minerva, the older woman's head leaning in to lay on Molly's shoulder.

"They knew. Fred and Remus and Severus and everyone else out there who died tonight, they knew what they were fighting for, Minerva. I tried to keep my children safe for all these years, protecting them from the world out there and still I lost Fred. But that's war-I love my son, more than he will ever know, and I know that he died fighting to protect those that he loved. So I will not cower away in my despair, it only makes me selfish. Don't take away their sacrifices by wishing they had not died, Minerva, don't grieve for those who will not come back. Live in their memories, keep them with you, that's all that we can do."

Molly's response had taken Minerva off guard, she had no expected the ever-so-sensitive Molly Weasley to have braved this tragedy better than she ever could. And she was right, Minerva thought, what was the point in regretting Severus' death when he had so gladly given it for Potter's sake? Why take away so noble a sacrifice to assuage her own guilt?

"He would have laughed if he'd seen me now, 'oh, Minerva, surely a woman so prim and proper as yourself wouldn't be wasting such tears on a rogue like me' he'd have said."

Molly snorted in agreement, and Minerva felt tickled with humor at her terrible impersonation of him.

"You know when Albus first told us he'd found someone to replace Horace, he warned us that there would be rumors about him being a Death Eater. Naturally, we all opposed it, I believe Horace even insisted to stay another year until the headmaster could secure a better candidate-I think he'd suggested some old coot from the Magical Potions Society. But Dumbledore wouldn't hear of it, he was quite taken in with this wizard and had invited him to stay a week prior to the start of the term. We had all been expecting this menacing type of character, what with his history, and then in walked this stringy, sickly-looking boy who could have been no more than twenty years old at least. And then I recognized him, this was the boy that was always getting into trouble with students from my own house."

As Minerva spoke, a fond smile appeared on her lips as the ghost of her memories swam through her eyes. He had always been aloof, even as a child, but was incredibly intelligent for a boy his age. Slughorn constantly talked about him and Lily Evans and how they were quite possibly the brightest students he had ever seen. Of course at the time, Minerva had been biased towards students of her own house and favored the four troublesome little Gryffindor boys over anyone else.

"He never got along with anyone, you know," Minerva continued, "not as a child, and certainly not as an adult. I tried to be friends with him but he never seemed to believe me. Always thinking my niceties were because I wanted to gain his favour, hah, silly boy! I suppose he had had his heart set on just one person...perhaps he couldn’t bear to go through it all over again after she died."

"It was true then, what Harry said about his mother and Severus? He loved her?"

Minerva gave a rueful smile, glancing back at Severus' still form.

"I suppose so...I'd seen them together for years, they were a strange sight after all-a Gryffindor and a Slytherin walking to classes together, spending any free period they had by the lake. I suppose it was wishful thinking to have wanted it to have lasted a little longer than it had."

"Is that why he kept himself away from everyone else, do you think?"

"Who would know for sure what he had been thinking. His burden was far worse than what anyone else had to carry, perhaps it amounted to the same sacrifice that Harry Potter himself had to make in the end. He was destined to play this role, I suppose, but Merlin be damned if he did not play it well...I thought....when he killed Albus-oh!"

Molly tightened her grip around Minerva as she shook under the strain her heart was in. Each moment she lingered here, she was overcome with a new realization about Severus that broke her heart all over again. Molly was soothing her but there seemed to be no end to the heart-wrenching pain she was feeling. This poor man had been entrusted to lead a false life for years, and no one had even attempted to try and help him. Not that he would have accepted anyway, her mind echoed, he was far too prideful and stubborn to admit he needed anything from them.

"We treated him like an outsider when he came back as headmaster! None of us would even look at him because we were so disgusted by his betrayal, oh, he must have been so alone and so frightened about everything! To think t-th-that he was left to die like this, alone with no one-!"

"Hush now, Minerva, or you'll catch an illness come morning! He wasn't alone, now, was he? He had Harry and trust me, there couldn't have been anyone better to be there for him. The boy made sure of that, I know him."

Molly spoke with such conviction that it appeared to have calmed Minerva down a little.

"How will we ever repay what he has done for us, Molly? How will we make up for the deaths of all those that lie in heaps and piles in the Great Hall?"

Molly's answer was short, but sufficient.

"I don't know, but we'll find a way. Now come, we must get the headmaster back to where he belongs."

* * *

The funeral was quiet and private, just how Severus would have wanted it to be. Potter was there, of course, along with Granger and Weasley. Molly and Arthur had insisted they would be there as well and Minerva welcomed them. The Malfoy boy was there with his parents, and several other students from Slytherin house who had wanted to pay their respects to their long-time head of house. Many others had written to her, asking if they could be permitted to attend the funeral but she had discarded their letters fairly quickly.

The new truth of Severus' loyalty was still raw, and many seemed to have misunderstood his services to Dumbledore and the Order. There had been those in the Ministry who had tried to discredit Severus' role as a spy but Potter along with Shacklebolt had quickly gone to his defense. Seeing Potter there made the case move along much faster and in a matter of hours, Severus' contribution to the Battle of Hogwarts was officially recognized as genuine and true. And yet there were those who were reluctant to believe, and Minerva could not blame them either. Severus had never made any public attempts to paint himself as a good man nor one that was capable of courage or bravery.

Minerva had argued that they publicize the reason why Severus gave his services to Dumbledore; that it had been out of pure and honest love. But Harry had disagreed. He wanted to keep this as Severus' final secret, that no one else should have to know something he had regarded as a private part of his life. Minerva realized then that Potter was right, the man had never shown care for respect or regard from anyone other than Albus Dumbledore and that he had certainly earned a long time ago. Severus would not mind whether or not people believed where his true allegiance lay, he would have just wanted to rest. And after years of misery and suffering, Minerva McGonagall could promise him exactly that.

She watched as Potter moved to the front of the small crowd, cleared his throat and spoke about Severus Snape's bravery. He made several jokes along the way which earned stiff laughs from the others, and by the end he thanked his old Professor for saving his life. He offered to stay longer but Minerva had urged him to return home, he had been incredibly busy-he'd promised to attend as many funerals of those that died as he could and she could see the toll it was taking on him. The crowd dissipated eventually until she was alone once more-save another woman who was standing a distance away. Her blonde hair danced around the air gracefully as she stared out ahead.

"Mrs. Malfoy," Minerva called slowly, and the other woman turned around too quickly as though she had been preparing for an attack.

"Oh," she muttered as she lowered her defensive stance, "it's you."

"Your family's left without you?"

"They're up ahead...Lucius doesn't like to stay in one place too long especially somewhere like...this," Narcissa replied, and it was evident in her tone she did approve of the site.

"I see."

It was quiet where they stood, the trees swaying in the wind threatened to break the silence overhead.

"I didn't think he was ever one of them," Narcissa said suddenly. Minerva gazed up at the taller woman.

"Death Eaters, I mean. Even when he joined, he would always just stay back and watch. The others pushed him around because he was smaller than the rest of them but he was far too clever for them. To think a man who had never once used an Unforgivable curse to have risen up in the Dark Lord's ranks so quickly...but I knew."

"You...knew what exactly, Mrs. Malfoy?"

"The others wanted to be there so they could have power to rule-over the Muggles and everyone else. My husband, my sister, even my son...they wanted power so that they could abuse it for their own ends, so that they could stand behind the Dark Lord's destruction of the world. But Severus was different, he didn't want-no, he didn't care about being in command. He just wanted to belong somewhere, I think. He wanted knowledge, he thirsted over any piece of magic he could find because it..."

"It what?"

"It helped him belong somewhere, with us, with the Dark Lord. I was the same; I wanted to be a part of something bigger than I actually was. And look what happened because of it. Severus lost his life, and my son nearly lost his."

"We all make mistakes when we are young. And to be young is to be foolish," Minerva asserted, not unkindly.

"He helped me when no one else would. I don't care if he did it because Dumbledore made him to or whatever it is the Daily Prophet is reporting these days. I begged him to save Draco's life and he did. I only wish I could have returned the favour,” Narcissa said in hushed voice.

There was regret evident in her voice, and there was a moment where Minerva wanted to condemn the woman before her. She wanted to blame Severus’ death on her, wanted to scream at her that if her son had never become a Death Eater then Severus wouldn’t have had to kill Albus. That if it weren’t for her or her son, both her colleagues would still be alive.

But Minerva knew that was not true. Albus had touched the cursed ring himself, just as Severus promised to give anything in exchange of keeping Lily safe. Their deaths were their own consequences to bear, their own choices that had led them to their own ends. There would be no good now to guilt this poor woman any further. She had just escaped the clutches of Voldemort with her family and she deserved to start a new life with them.

”You lied to _Voldemort_ that Harry Potter had died, didn’t you?”

A small gasp escaped her lips then, but she still did not meet Minerva’s eyes.

“Potter said you did, it’s one of the reasons why the Ministry has yet to hunt your family down.”

”Are you saying I should be grateful to the boy?” Narcissa snapped.

”No, I am saying that by keeping the boy safe, you extended Severus’ mission in preserving his safety. What you did for Potter is what Severus would have done had he been in your place. And if he were here, he would say your debt has been paid. Potter’s life meant to him more than his own ever did after all.”

”Thank you,” she said after some time.

”Why did you bring him here, anyway? Why not bury him at the castle with everyone else?” Narcissa asked again.

Minerva afforded her a genuine smile.

”This is where he learned to love, the one place that is more home to him that Hogwarts itself.”

There were no more questions from her. Without another word, Narcissa Malfoy spun on her heels, walked a short distance before disapparating with a soft pop. At last Minerva stood by herself, looking up at the canopy stretched overhead, casting a cool shadow over her.

”Farewell, Severus. I shall come see you when I can, I suppose. Rest well, boy.”

And with that, Minerva walked along the steep hill and past the abandoned swings before she vanished from view. Among the thicket of trees, hidden cleverly by a large hollowed trunk lay the headstone that marked Severus Snape’s final resting place.

‘Here Lies Severus Snape 1960-1998’

it said. And below it;

’He was more human that he cared to admit, and may he now know eternal peace.’


End file.
